Friday, April 20, 2007

interstate portals?

The other day, I was having a conversation with the young lady who sits on the other side of my cubicle wall and heard something incredible.
Kat H. ( was lamenting about how affordable it is to live in Philly, but how cool it is here in nyc. She said, "I wish there was a portal from Philly to New York".

I wish that too...but that's not possible. Am I wrong?

Also, my other co-worker, Nick B. informed me that portals in new jersey are actually called 'warp zones'. I dont know that because I never go to new jersey before. Ever.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Portal Identifiers

It's in the Name:
There are some telltale signs for recognizing a portal. These signs will sometimes become clear after the fact, but are a good lesson in locating portals in the future. Back in the late 90's I came across the popular Paper Access Portal (note: previously mention on this blog as the foodworks portal). Although one might guffaw at how easily identifiable this portal appears, (referring to the prominently displayed word Access) you would be amazed at how many passersby are unaware of this portal everyday.

Now onto Phil's 17th street coffee portal, we look up, we see the sign outside A.I Friedman. Let's look at this name. A.I. (artificial intelligence?) Friedman (or shall we say 'Freed Man') Yet another fantastic lesson in portal identification.

Set the Drive:
Now, what is a portal without the other side. My cohort in portal identification, Miss Hew, worked a few streets up and was the catalyst to the identification of the Sam Flax Portal. This portal was located based on a need, which is usually the drive pushing a portal user past the imminent danger of getting stuck in a portal. The carrot at the end of this rainbow was an Uncle Moe's burrito. I was able to meet my fellow portian on her side of the Paper Access Portal and my side of the Sam Flax Portal for a tasty treat many times unscathed.

So, keep your eyes open, let the portal uncover itself in a time of need, and keep yourself driven.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

irregular portals

First let me say that we are lucky to welcome the portology pioneer, PJ Lockerby who has joined our important research project. Welcome aboard, PJ!

Second let me say that I had the good fortune to discover and IRREGULAR PORTAL on Monday morning. I was running late to meet a colleague for breakfast. I saw what looked like a portal between 7th and Broadway and took it, hope to gain a few minutes. To my surprise I encountered my associate IN THE PORTAL!!!!

We decided to eat breakfast there, and it was delicious. As a word of warning, we limited our breakfast to 15 minutes,
because of the unstable nature of irregular portals. If it had collapsed while I was eating my eggs and bacon, I would not be here to blog this.

17th to 20th street Portals

The weather was poor, I mean real terrible. I wanted Udon BADLY, and since I don't roll with an umbrella, I still didn't want to get soaked. I needed to get to foodworks and back to work, without getting drenched. I NEEDED A PORTAL.
was it intuition? Luck? did I have a dream the night before that I would discover a passageway to the past and future? Maybe, I really don't remember. It was like a blur, I barely remember making my way through the aisles of Paper and Envelopes, past the birthday cards and wedding invitations, it was as if I was transported through time and space, from 18th st. to 19th st., there I was , kneeling, out of breath, and in front of foodworks. DRY. that was back in '05. Since then, after a few expeditions in the winter of '06, we discovered two more Portals. The Sam Flax portal, and the 17th street Coffee Portal.
I am happy to share them with you.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Welcome to the exciting world of portals!

Hello and welcome to the NYC portals blog.
This webspace is dedicated to the discovery and study of portals.

The first portal was discovered back in '05 by researcher P. J. Lockerby on 18th St. in manhattan. Since then, portals have been discovered all over the globe, in every continent except Australia. After his appearance on the Dave Letterman show of December 18th 2006, the field of portal research exploded in popularity. Science has still failed to fully explain portals, but as public interest in portals increases, it is only a matter of time before we can harness their power.

For this first post, I would like to share a portal that I discovered, the 33rd st. portal, or by it's christian name, "Max Portal". If you are one of those people who say they don't believe in portals, I dare you to step into the portal and see for yourself.

Seeing is believing.